To Nora...

Dear Nora:

Today, my sweet girl, you turn a year old.  In the years to come, you're going to have a lot of questions about your first year of life - because a lot has happened.  But I want you to know that you have always been loved, wanted, and you have made the past year wonderful for me.  

I have been writing this letter to you in my head for a long time.  I've been trying to find the words to convey to you in the years to come what I am feeling now.  I have so many wishes and dreams for you.  And, I suppose like any parent, I hope that you make good choices in life that lead you down a rewarding path.  

But here's what I want to tell you:    

1.  Surround yourself with good people.  This is so important.  Keep people in your life who love you for who you are and support you in whatever path you choose.  You don't need people around who bring you down and make you feel badly about yourself.  You are, and will be, a beautiful woman and you deserve to be among people who want to help you succeed and shine.  

2.  Pick yourself back up.  You're learning this lesson now, baby girl.  You walk around, fall down and get frustrated, but you get right back up and keep on going.  I can't tell you what life will bring your way, but I can tell you that you're going to get knocked down.  A lot.  Sometimes, the falls will be minor, but not always.  And if you need help getting back up, this is where your people will help and keep you pointed in the right direction.    

3.  Say thank you.  Be gracious.  It costs you nothing and means the world to another person.  

4.  Along those lines, find a way to help someone else every day without expecting thanks in return.  You don't need to move mountains to help another person.  Hold the door open for someone.  Smile.  Talk to other people.  Give your talents back to the world.  The one thing I've learned this past year is that everyone fights their own battles, so its important to be kind.  We've all got something that keeps us up at night.  Be understanding of this. 

5.  Make mistakes.  I can't count the number of times I've screwed up in life.  We all mess up, and generally, that's okay.  We're only human and it's how we learn.  But that's the important part - learn from your mistakes.   

6.  Ask for help.  This is a lesson I'm still working on.  It's hard to ask for help, honey.  But just because something is hard doesn't mean it's wrong or we shouldn't do it.  Hard is good.  Hard can be rewarding.  Asking for help doesn't mean you're weak - it means just the opposite.  It means that you're strong enough to ask for help when you need it.  That is a big deal.

7.  Do what you love and love what you do.  Your Nana told me when I was very young that every opportunity we have in life presents us with a learning situation.  I think that's pretty good advice - if nothing else, we learn about something we don't like and, if we're really lucky, we fall into something that we love.      

8.  Learn how to apologize and ask for forgiveness.  Also, learn to accept an apology and how to forgive.  Life is going to be hard sometimes and, while I wish I could protect you, there are going to be times when you are hurt badly by someone you love.  You are also going to inevitably hurt people you love too.  Running away is easy - avoiding something until it goes away is never the answer.  If you've messed up, own it.  Apologize.  If you've been hurt, work to forgive.  Scorched earth and burned bridges are never the answer.  

9.  Learn how to rely on someone, but don't ever become dependent.  Your happiness should never be tied to another person.  And yet, if you never learn to put your trust in someone else, you're going to miss out on some really great things in life.  But don't ever get to that point where you need someone else to make you happy.  This is going to be hard, honey.      

10.  Take risks.  Understand though, that a risk is a lot different than going with the flow or doing something because you want to.  Risks have rewards, many times.  Doing something because everyone else is doing it or because it feels good isn't a risk - these are impulses, baby, and they have consequences.  Work to understand the difference.  

11.  Spend some time every day with yourself.  At some point, you're going to be so busy with life that you'll forget that you're just one person in this beautiful world too.  At the end of the day, you have to live with yourself, so you must be fit for yourself to know.  Remember that - especially when you're overwhelmed by everyone else's needs.  You're no good to anyone, baby girl, if you're not taking care of yourself.      

12.  Take your education seriously.  There are a lot of things you're going to learn in high school and college about who you are and what you want out of life.  Those are important lessons, baby, but pay attention in class.  Do your homework.  Ask questions.  Learn.  You can be anything that you want to be, and do anything you want to do.  But what you learn in school will give you the tools to achieve your dreams and goals.    

13.  Have a best friend.  And, more importantly, be a good friend to others.  Be the kind of person that inspires trust and confidence in others.  Make sure you're a good listener.  Take care of your friendships - treasure and nurture them.  Be kind to others and understand that everyone deserves to have a friend.  Don't bully other kids either, honey.  Stand up for those who need it.  And recognize that those who choose to tease other kids aren't the kind of people you want in your life.

14.  Make sure someone breaks your heart.  The ending of a serious relationship is one of the more painful things in life, but one of the most important things you'll ever experience.  You will learn more about who you are and what you're made of after a heartbreak than at any other point in your life.  Trust me on this one.      

15.  Understand your finances.  Learn how to manage money budget, and control your expenses.  Don't ever buy something you can't afford and don't rack up debt.  Save money for a rainy day.  Be smart with money and realize that possessions don't ensure happiness.  A new pair of shoes you can't afford isn't going to bring you bliss.  Even if they look really cute on your feet.  

16.  Learn how to say no - and mean it.  These two little letters are one of the strongest tools in our arsenals.  Saying "no" to something means that you understand who you are, what your limitations are, and that whatever is being asked of you exceeds that.  I don't care if you say "no" to another boy, drugs, alcohol, jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge, or joining the PTA.  Just be strong in knowing that you made the right decision for yourself.  And don't let anyone talk you out of it.    

17.  Change the world.  You don't need to cure cancer, end war, or solve an economic crisis - but if you want to, then do it.  Our job here on Earth is to make the world a little bit better.  Think about the change we could accomplish if we all worked towards this.  Pick up your trash.  Give your time and talents to charity.  Don't take more than you need and share what you can with others.  These are small things, baby, but the world will be better for it.        

I want you to know that life is hard, baby girl - its confusing and doesn't come with any kind of instruction on how to live it.  But I also want you to know that we can do hard things, together.  And life can be so good.  And amazing.  Remember, always, that you are loved - more than the sun, and the moon, and the stars in the sky.  

And so, I'll leave you with this - Gandhi said once, "There are only two days of the year that nothing can be done - yesterday and tomorrow.  Today is the right day to love, believe, do, and mostly, to live."

Happy birthday, dear girl.

Love,
Mom.

Bits and Pieces

I didn't even remember to write last week - I can't believe it.  I feel like I've been going all over the state for work and when I'm in the office or at home, I'm trying to catch up on what I missed while logging miles on my car.  And then, I start writing a post and get called away to do something and suddenly, it's Friday.  So, the good news is that the house is ALMOST done.  I can't even begin to tell you how hard my family worked on getting me to this point.  My dad has literally been logging twelve hour days for the past month and, honestly, he did the work better than anyone I could have ever hired to complete it.  Today, the real estate agents came by to reassess and give me some paperwork and he walked through the house, showing them everything he'd done, just like he was showing off a prize watermelon at the State Fair.

The kids are doing well - Ms. Anna (Jack's favorite teacher) told me that Jack had his best week ever at school.  He participated in group time (which is a rarity) and even knew answers to questions he was asked - so he was paying attention too.  Nora has started to transition into the Toddler room at school too.  She took her first nap on a cot yesterday.

 
It'll be a few more months before she's officially in the Toddler room, but she's getting there - she's pretty advanced physically for her age - just like her brother.  She walked early, mastered the art of sitting on a chair and eating meals, and now, she's learning how to nap on a cot.  I can't believe that she'll be a year old by this time next week.

In any case, last weekend I took an early day on Friday and grabbed the kids to see the new Minion movie.  Both kids did really well during the show.  They were a little antsy by the end, but we went to an early show and it was filled with small children anyways, so it wasn't a big deal.  Afterwards, Jack declared that he wanted a hot dog for dinner and so we headed over to Five Guys and sat outside.

I had promised the kids that we'd go to the beach on Saturday.  However, we were hit by a rather large storm on Friday night - one that required us to spend the night in the basement.  I had no idea it was coming.  Fortunately, we were just fine and the house was relatively unscathed.  There were lots of downed tree branches and the patio table shattered.  So, we got up on Saturday morning, got dressed and ran a few errands - we went and got a new patio table, picked up a vacuum from my parents' house, and ordered Nora's birthday cake.  We did manage to get to the "beach" but it had been obliterated by the storm the night before.  Fortunately, Jack and Nora were both happy to play at the park and eat the picnic lunch I'd packed.

Both kids faded pretty quickly in the sun, so we went home for naps.  I spent four (yes, four) hours cleaning up the shattered glass on the deck and putting together the new porch table.  After they woke up, we ran to the mall and we ALL crashed early.

On Sunday, we all slept in again, which was fine by me.  We spent the morning laying around the house and we headed to the Hopkins Raspberry Festival late in the morning.  There was supposed to be a parade, but Jack really had no interest - he just kept asking me when we were going to go home and take a nap.  He was excited about the firetrucks, but mostly, I walked down Main Street in Hopkins, alternating between carrying him, pushing the stroller, and walking with his arms wrapped around my leg.

And I couldn't even tell you what I did the rest of the week - we've been spending a lot of time out on the back deck, splashing in the pool and running errands all over creation.  Poor Nora has yet another ear infection - and (un)fortunately, we're to the point where I can call the pediatrician and have a prescription called in so I don't have to bring her in to get checked.  She was pretty crabby today - her eyes were flying at half-mast most of the morning and she's been fussy since she got home.  Even a good cuddle wouldn't appease her.  So, it was an early bath and bedtime for her.  I hope that the antibiotics kick in soon and baby girl starts feeling better soon.

Little man is doing really well too.  He's turning into quite the comic.  He's convinced that I have a magic wand that can turn him into a baby (just for a little while) or some kind of bird.  He also thinks that I can make the car fly with my magic wand.  He's quite the lover right now, and always wants to give hugs and kisses.  Every morning, he wakes up and plays with the iPad in bed.  When I bring Nora in from her room, he always comes over to give her a kiss and ask how she slept.  It absolutely melts my heart.

And I think that's about it for now - things should finally start to slow down and, by this time next week, we'll be getting ready for Nora's first birthday party.  Nana and Auntie really went all out and I'm excited to see how she does with her smash cake.  Girlfriend is going to love it.    

Fourth of July 2015

Even though the weekend technically isn't over yet, both kids are napping right now (which happens on the second of Never) and so I thought I'd take a few minutes to write a quick update on everything we've been up to for the past few days.  

First off, we had an awesome weekend.  However, I am still amazed that the Fourth of July has come and gone and Nora's first birthday is in just a few weeks' time.  Anyways, my office and the kids' daycare was closed on Friday, so we got an extra day together.  Still, we might as well have taken the entire week off because the office was a ghost town.  So, I picked up the kids on the earlier side and we ran a few errands, picked up dinner and headed home.  Nora is getting more sure on her own two feet every day.  She gets pretty ticked off when she falls.  I tend to think of her as a miniature sorority girl, headed home from a Friday night frat party.  Or Baby Frankenstein.  She kind of toddles around, bumps into stuff, falls down, and anything she encounters on her stroll amuses her.  Nora just cracks me up.  

I could watch her walk all day - even though I torture her and make her go farther every time I can tell she's headed for me.  I think I watched her play with the bouncy ball for about an hour on Thursday night.  In any case, on Friday we did our usual chores - picked up the house, ran to the grocery store, pulled through Home Depot and spent most of the day getting the house ready to put on the market.  My dad came up to paint the widow's walk in front of our house.  As for my part, I've been deep cleaning everything - and I mean EVERYTHING.  I've always considered myself a rather neat person, but the work I've been doing takes things to another level.  Today, I cleaned our eating area.  It was gross.  There was like four years' worth of food crusted onto the walls, the trim around the doors, and mashed into the baseboards.  Gross.  But now, it looks awesome.  I did the bathrooms this week as well and I'm embarrassed to admit that I ever showered in something that dirty.  But oh well, it's clean now!  

So on Friday, Jack stated that he wanted to go for a hot dog.  So, I ran a quick Google search and found the "best" place for hot dogs.  So, we grabbed dinner and then headed home.  As we were getting ready for bed, the doorbell rang and our neighbors invited us over for a bonfire, games, s'mores, and fireworks.  

We stayed up way too late, but we were having such a great time.  Jack and I have been talking about what the Fourth of July actually celebrates.  I was telling him that it was the day that America was "born" and how our nation was created.  The whole concept was kind of lost on Jack.  He kept asking who America was, where he lived, what kind of present we'd get him for his birthday and whether there'd be cake.  I tried to tell him all about cities, states, and the nation, but that was a little too much for him to take.  But still, I kept getting the giggles every time he'd ask when we were going to America's birthday party.  

In any case, we stuck close to home yesterday morning - doing more cleaning, packing, and organizing.  Honestly, it's going to be a shame to leave the house now because it's really starting to look quite nice, I must say.  Around lunch, we headed over to my girlfriend's house to do a little swimming.  She's got a little girl that's about a year older than Jack and they are as thick as thieves whenever they get together.  Jack had so much fun swimming and playing.  Nora was not feeling well, I could just tell.  She took a long nap yesterday morning and went down soon after we got to the pool.  She slept for about three hours and I finally had to wake her up because we had to leave.  

In any case, we went to a family reunion of sorts last night - some of my extended family was in town, so it was nice to sit and visit for a little bit.  Jack passed on the nap yesterday afternoon and fell asleep in the car on the way to the party.  

He was completely out of sorts when we got to the reunion and spent half of it sitting on my lap with his face buried in my chest.  He warmed up after a while, but it really took him some time to get there.  Nora was just fine - she played around with my cousin's little girl and was happy to be passed around between the adults.

However, I picked her up as we were getting ready to go and I could tell she had a fever.  Plus, her nose was running, her eyes were red and she just looked like she was uncomfortable.  I had chalked it up to the fact that she's cutting her two top teeth (at the same time, ugh) but I got home and took her temperature.  It was really high - so while I had considered fireworks, that was out of the question.  Even Jack preferred to go home - the minute we walked in the door, he went and laid down on the couch and asked me to cover him up with a blanket so he could have some resting time.

So anyways, Jack and I did end up making it to fireworks - and we were able to stand on our back deck and watch them.  Man, were they loud.  Jack stood in front of me, hands over his ears and pressing his little body into my legs.  I thought Blue was going to have a nervous breakdown.  I had kept him in the house, but he managed to open up the back door and came tearing outside and threw himself against me and Jack, pressing us back into the house.  

And today, Nora woke up with a fever so we went to urgent care.  Again.  She's got another ear infection and a rash from her fever.  We've got an appointment with the ENT tomorrow and I'm pretty sure she's going to need tubes.  Fortunately, I know what I'm doing this time around so I don't need to go through three sets of them before they finally work.  She's doing okay - I barely slept last night because I was so worried about her fever and she's slept a lot today.  Which is good, of course, but girlfriend is insanely crabby.  And full of crap - I think she's been through three outfits today.    

So after the doctor's visit, we hit up Target and came home.  My dad cleaned out Jack's sandbox and my mom suggested that I fill it with water to make a little splash pool for the kids on the deck.

Jack played in the pool while Nora slept and I did some more cleaning.  After she woke up, we ran a few more errands.  We went to Home Depot - and I'm convinced this is the most happy place in the world for both kids.  They love the little cart and riding along together.  Also, Jack asks me what everything is and he just HAS to HAVE it all.

I love that little look Nora is giving her brother.  Anyways, when we got home, I put the kids down so I could work on getting things ready for the week and whatnot.  Now, both kids have gotten up from their naps and they're playing in the buff in the splash pool again.  

And tomorrow, of course, we've got the ENT appointment.  I'm so sick of going to the doctor.  I know she needs tubes.  I know when she's got an ear infection.  I wish I could just call the doctor and tell him to put her on the schedule for his next available time.  And this week is going to be more of the same - a LOT of cleaning and fixing and all that.  But it's almost done.  I've also got to get a few things squared away for her birthday party too - get the cake and find someone to take her pictures.  So, we're keeping busy which is a good thing - a mix of work and play.  I'm actually looking forward to the point where I'll have some downtime - but the way things look right now, that's not going to be until next year!

Eleven Months

So, I haven't been intentionally neglecting my blog, but honestly I haven't had a minute to sit down and write.  And now, as I'm typing this, there are about a million other things that I should be doing.  But, Nora hit the eleven-month mile marker on Tuesday, and so that deserves a little bit of attention. 

I have been thinking a lot about love lately, and not necessarily of the romantic variety.  I've mostly been thinking about the love a parent has for their child.  The lengths a parent will go to ensure the well being of their children.  For starters, I have a pretty unbelievable and incredible example to follow.  I have needed my parents more this past year than I have ever needed them before in my life.  While I suppose I always knew it, I never really appreciated the unconditional support and love that they have provided me.  And I'm seeing it in action now.  I've seen their willingness to take on my burdens and do everything in their power to ease my hurt.  I wish I had known the power of their love for me when I was younger.  But, I think I needed to become a parent to understand it.  

So, along those lines, I think about about my sweet babies and I know there is nothing on this earth I wouldn't do for them.  Truly, there are no words to describe my love for them.  

My sweet girl - my Nora-Belle.  She is one amazing tiny human.  She loves nothing more than a good cuddle.  She is always happy and my little sunshine every day.  I love watching her learn and explore her world - figuring out what she likes and trying so hard to master new skills every day.  She started walking in earnest a few weeks ago - and she is so proud of herself.  She likes to walk everywhere now, so long as she doesn't have to get there in a hurry.  

   

I wish I could explain how much I love this little peanut - but I can't.  My favorite part of the day is bedtime.  I love putting Jack and Nora in the bath and watching them play together.  I love putting on her pajamas and having Jack run into her room to kiss her belly.  I love watching her little face light up when he does this, and hearing them laugh together is my most favorite sound in the world.  I love getting into bed with her and quieting her down to go to sleep for the night.  A part of me thinks that moment is her favorite part of the day as well - the one she has been waiting for.  I watch her little face calm, feel her body relax into mine, and she just knows that she is cared for and loved.  I need that every day.  

In any case, things have been busy - both at work and home.  My dad (St. Dean) has been working on the house to get it ready to go on the market in the next month or so.  He painted our back deck and put out all our porch furniture this past week, so the kids and I made the most of things and had a dinner al fresco the other night.

Jack loved it - and even ate his whole dinner too.  Blue appreciated the proximity of Nora's tray to his mouth.  My raspberry bushes also started getting their fruit and it was kind of fun to pick the berries for the kids and put them straight onto their plates.  After washing them, of course.  Jack's behavior at school has also improved substantially.  He doesn't have a good day every day, but he's getting better.  And I'm getting better at learning how to talk to him so he understands as well.  

So anyways, the past few weeks, the kids and I have been spending a lot of time with my family.  Nana and Boppa took Jack and Nora to the zoo a while back, and Jack loved seeing all the animals.  

And, I can't believe that the Fourth of July is already here.  Seriously, how can summer already be half gone?  We've got big plans this weekend - we're going to visit my sister and see her new house tomorrow.  On Saturday, we're going to a pool party and then a family get-together.  On Sunday, I was thinking of taking the kids to a splash pad or the zoo, depending on the weather.  Other than that, I know we'll be busy, but that's okay.  It takes a village, I think, both to raise children and get through life.  So, to paraphrase the Stones, you don't always get what you want, but you if you try, you can find what you need.