Just a week...

What a difference a week can make. 

 

My last post was somewhat pessimistic, and I was cursing the holiday season somewhat, thinking of all the things I needed to get done. And now, all the Christmas cards have been sent, presents have all been purchased and wrapped, and  I can finally sit back and wait for the Christmas spirit to wash over me. 

 

And it has, although not in the way that I expected this year. 

 

I need to say something about last Friday's events.  In the years that come, I'll probably forget what I'm talking about, even though there's no way I could ever erase it from my mind currently.  So, for historical accuracy, a twenty-year old man forced his way into an elementary school and killed twenty-six people, twenty of whom were no more than seven years old.  Even as I write this, I still can't find the words to express the kind of visceral reaction this has created in me. 

 

Maybe it's because I'm the mother of a very young child.  Maybe it's because I went to elementary school less than twenty-five miles from where this occurred, but I think my reaction goes deeper and broader than that.  From a simple, human perspective, I can't understand why this happened.  I don't know what possesses someone to feel that kind of rage so as to take the lives of the innocent.  But my overriding concern is that I don't want to be afraid.  I don't want to be afraid to go to work, to church, to the shopping mall, to a movie, or to send my son to school.  Again, for historical accuracy, those innocuous places I just named have been the sites of mass shootings within the past six months.  And specifically, I'm thinking of the workplace shooting here in Minneapolis, the Oregon mall shooting a few weeks ago, the Wisconsin Sikh temple incident in August, and the shooting at a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado in July.   

 

I don't know how I'll be able to explain this kind of evil to my son one day.  I actually thought, as I was getting on the elevator this morning, what I should do if someone came into my office with a gun.  We deal with a lot of disgruntled individuals, and I have had more than one death threat in my six years of practice.

 

We had our firm's holiday party on Friday afternoon.  As the party progressed, more and more information came out about the developing story in Newtown.  I ended up leaving early because I simply wanted my son.  I wanted to hold Jack and tell him how much I love him, and tell it to him so that he would truly understand that my whole world begins and ends with him.     

 

So, we went through our weekend.  I managed to get out on Saturday to both start and finish our Christmas shopping.  It seemed that everyone had the same idea I did and the lines at the stores were long, parking was terrible, and everybody seemed to be in a hurry.  I could feel myself getting frustrated each time I encountered some sort of obstacle, but then I would try to remember that life is precious, and I would tell myself that each day is a gift.  My anger and frustration only contributes to the problem and it does nothing to solve it. 

 

Yesterday, Jack and I went to church and watched the children's Christmas pageant.  They reenacted the story of The Giving Tree.  If you don't know the story, you should really read it and spend some time reflecting on it.  The long and short of it is that there's a beautiful Christmas tree that everyone enjoyed, but it gave everything it had to its townspeople so they'd be happy until there was nothing left for the tree to give.  You can view this story from two perspectives - one being that you're the Christmas tree, giving everything you have to others until you have nothing left.  Or, you are the townspeople, taking without realizing the consequences.  I think that we all have a little bit of both inside of us. 

 

So, with that weighing on my mind, I went and visited my parents yesterday.  My dad had shoulder surgery last Thursday (he's doing well!) and my mom came down with a bad cold.  Granted, I probably didn't do much to help them recover, but I just needed to spend some time with them.  Like I said, every day we have here on Earth is a gift.  When we got home, Jack headed out to do some shopping with Daddy while I was able to put our house back in order, get ready for the work week, and wrap our Christmas presents. 

 

I love wrapping Christmas presents.  I will readily admit that I am not good at it, but I still love doing it.  I used to be sort of apathetic when it came to gift-giving, mostly because I was a self-involved college kid, more interested in where the parties were being held as opposed to what I was going to give my family for Christmas. 

 

But now, here's my take on gift-giving:  It's not about the present or the gift, but the fact that you spend a little time every holiday season, thinking about the person for whom you're buying the gift.  You actually take the time to think about what that person would like, you make a special trip to the store to buy that gift, you bring it home and spend time wrapping the present.  Every present I wrapped yesterday, its intended recipient was on my mind.  Now granted, if I'm buying or wrapping a Christmas present for you, you're probably on my mind a lot!  But yesterday, for example, I was wrapping up my Grandma's gift, and I just kept thinking about how lucky I have been to have had both her and my grandpa in my life for more than thirty-two years. 

 

And while that's only one of the reasons for this season, it's the one in the forefront of my mind. 

 

Enough now, with the ramblings, and onto Jack... So, he got sick.  And I don't mean with the sniffles.  His day care called on Thursday afternoon, telling me that he had a temperature of about 103 degrees, under the arm.  So, I rushed off to pick him up and take him to the pediatrician.  This was easily the sickest he's ever been.  Normally, even when he's under the weather, Jack is constantly on the move.  Yet, at the doctor on Thursday, he simply sat in my lap and clung to me while he was being checked over.  He had a minor ear infection, but more concerning was the fact that the doctor diagnosed him with a blood infection.  And just for any curious readers, neither the doctor or I have any clue how he got it.  Regardless, he was given a shot of antibiotics, had a bunch of blood drawn, and we were instructed to return on Friday. 

 

So, Jeff stayed home with Jack on Friday.  He ended up napping for about five hours and when he woke up, he had a quick bite to eat and we went back to the doctor's office.  Jack had some MORE blood drawn (side note:  he does NOT like this) and then had another shot of antibiotics.  Afterwards, we went over to my mom and dad's for some pizza.  Jack was still not in the best mood, so we went home early and he went straight to bed.  Still, I didn't rush through his bath time, I read him a few extra pages in our book, and I sang him his lullaby twice, all the way through, just so I could hold him for a few minutes longer.  And I cried the whole time.   

 

On Saturday, I went into his room when he woke up and I could tell that my sweet boy was back.  His eyes were shining again, he was chattering a mile a minute, and his cheeks had lost their feverish tint.  We stuck close to home for most of the day, but we did head up to Elk River for a birthday party on Saturday night.  Jack was simply the life of the party and Jeff and I couldn't stop gushing all the way home about how well-behaved he was. 

 

 

Anyways, today he's at Grammy camp for just a few hours so I could come into work and take care of a few things.  My mom is still under the weather and my dad has a doctor's appointment this afternoon, so I'm going to pick my little man up early and head home with him.  I am so grateful for the extra time with him. 

 

And so, maybe it's because the pressure of the season is off for now, maybe it's because I've had an attitude adjustment, but I'm moving forward with a renewed sense of purpose.  We aren't put on this Earth to work ourselves to the bone, we shouldn't constantly be pursuing fame, riches, or a better position in society.  We are here to love one another.  We are here to learn kindness. 

 

So, from my family to yours, we wish you a very merry Christmas.  My God bless you and yours this holiday season. 

'Tis the Season...

How am I ever going to get things done? 

 

I keep looking at my Christmas shopping list, sitting untouched on our kitchen counter, with all its blanks and then I can't even bring myself to flip to the next page with the never-ending to-do list.  It makes me just want to shut down and ignore the clock, and I want to forget that Christmas is in just twelve short days.  And then I shouldn't even get started on work and the mountain of paper I somehow have to sift through...

 

How am I ever going to get things done?  The answer is that I simply have no clue. 

 

I always think that Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year, and I really have no good reason why I think that.  I am always stressed out, I always feel like I'm running around from place to place, and I really don't have any time to just sit back and relax. 

 

Again, I know I shouldn't complain - there are so many things to be thankful for and this season is a wonderful time to remember all the amazing gifts I've been given in life.  So, I'll just keep focusing on that, or at least I'll try to - and hopefully if I take things one at a time, I might not become so overwhelmed with life. 

 

Anyways, after the big birthday celebration, our life has slowly crawled back to normal.  Or the new normal, I should say.  I've been preparing for a trial that ended last night, and now it's trying to get everything done before Christmas - buying and wrapping gifts, getting the Christmas cards out the door, cooking and making meals, and attending holiday parties. 

 

We've also hit a "stage" with Jack - I'm not sure what it is, exactly, but he's turned into somewhat of a monster.  I don't know if he's growing out of naps, or if he's just really missing Jeff and me during the days, but he gets home and just throws a fit.  In the mornings, he just sits and whines at my feet while I'm getting ready.  I thought for a while that he might be getting a new tooth, but nothing has really broken through yet, so I'm not sure that's the cause.  I can look at his little face and see something is bothering him, but I cannot figure out what it is.  It breaks my heart and I'm at a total loss.  We've also been battling the dreaded croup for the past week, so that may have something to do with it as well. 

 

Anyways, Minnesota got it's first big snowfall of the year last Sunday.  The roads were awful for the past three days, and I think I spent about twenty hours in my car just driving to and from work.  I'd get to work and if I wanted to make day care pick up time, I'd have to leave about two hours before my regularly scheduled time because I had no idea how the drive home would go.  Frustrating doesn't even cover it! 

 

Still, I wish I could have bottled Sunday up to take out when I'm having a moment, much like I am now...the day was absolutely perfect.  We had no plans, no where to go...Everyone was home and staying safe from the snow.  Blue loved going outside and playing in it though.  We had a Christmas movie playing in the background, good food in the crock-pot, it was just wonderful. 

 

Anyways, we've got parties this weekend and hopefully I can knock some items off the Christmas list!  We also got the proof's from Jack's photo shoot, so I'm posting a few of my favorites...

 

 

 

 

The Birthday Boy...

We had Jack's one-year appointment today.  He's still a baby giant.  He weighs 26lbs now, and is 32 inches tall.  He's solidly in the 95th percentile for height, weight, and head circumference.  He's hit or exceeded all his developmental milestones.  The doctor told me that he's absolutely perfect - albeit, a bruiser - and I couldn't agree more.  He got three shots today, so he was a pretty miserable little guy as we headed over to Nana and Papa's for a day of Grammy Camp. 

 

Today is also a big day - we've stopped giving him bottles.  I've been weaning him down over the past several weeks, but today we went cold turkey - I told my mom to put a bottle full of water in the crib with him at nap time, but I don't think he was having it and cried for a while before finally falling asleep.  He's started on whole milk, which he seems to enjoy, but I think there's something he finds comforting about going down for a nap or bed time with a bottle.  I think we've got a few trying days ahead of us as we all learn to adjust. 

 

So, as I reported previously, Grandma Terry came into town to visit us on Wednesday night.  Jack hadn't had the best day with naps while at school, so he was a bit of a pickle.  Still, he managed a few shy looks at his Grandma before we finally had to put him to bed.  On Thursday, I worked for part of the day, and then Grandma and I sprung Jack early from school and headed to the play area at the mall.  Jack played for a little bit, but I think he was getting tired.  We then went over to my parents' house so they could give him his birthday present.  They got him a very cool car that he can ride and push himself around on.  Right now, he likes pushing the buttons on the car and getting them to make noise.  He'll also ride around on the car if someone is pushing him, but he doesn't like to scoot around by himself just yet. 

 

Anyways, when we got home, there was a big box from his Unkie Chris and Aunt Kate at the front door.  They got him his very own easy chair.  Jack just loved it and would keep walking over to it and sitting down.  I said that all we need to do now is give him a remote control and then he's a true Storms boy! 

 

On Friday, Grandma, Jeff and I took Jack to Macy's Santa Land to see the display and to sit on Santa's lap.  Jack had a great time running around and looking at the displays.  He really loved this one where the elves were waking up, and he kept running back to look at it some more.  He was just in awe of everything.  And, I'm pleased to report that he did pretty well with Santa as well.  We rushed into the room, I shoved Jack on Santa's lap, and the lady just started snapping pictures.  It took Jack a few minutes before he realized that he was not being held by his grandma, mom, or dad and then he really started to wail.  But, by then, we'd gotten enough good pictures, so I'd call it a success. 

 

Here is is, waiting to see Santa Claus...

 

 

On Saturday, we had a photographer come to the house and take his one-year pictures.  The photographer had brought a cup cake, so I stripped Jack down to his diaper and let him go nuts.  He completely demolished the whole cup cake, and even Blue got in on the action.  I think the pictures will be pretty cute.  Anyways, we spent the rest of the day getting ready for the party.  Grandpa Scott and Jeff installed a gate at the bottom of our stairs, which was absolutely necessary, given Jack's penchant for climbing anything and everything. 

 

Everyone started to come over around 4:00 that afternoon.  I always get all worked up when I'm having people over and I wanted Jack to enjoy his first birthday party, even if he really didn't understand what was going on.  In any case, I'm pleased to report that Jack had a great time.  He loved having all his favorite people around him and was perfectly content to just wander around the house from person to person.  Occasionally, he would sneak up on me and grab the backs of my legs and want to be picked up for a hug.  Which just makes my heart smile. 

 

He also did really well with opening his birthday presents.  While he was more interested in the tissue paper and envelopes, he was content to sit on my lap while I opened the presents and read the cards.  He got some really nice toys.  I actually put some away to bring out in a few months, mostly because I don't really think he's got the understanding of how to play with toys just yet.  Mostly, he just bangs on stuff and throws anything he can around the living room - or at the dog.  I think we'll all be happier if we can avoid broken toys, dented floors, and injured puppies.   

 

I'm also pleased to report that Blue did really well with everyone in the house as well.  He was pretty content to just lay around and sleep while people would come over and pet him.  I find that to be absolutely remarkable, given how young he is and what a basket case Maverick always was with company. 

 

Anyways, I had ordered a cake through Byerly's and they give you a free smash cake for your child's first birthday.  I took the obligatory pictures...again, he completely obliterated the cake.  He hasn't had sweets before then, and I'm pretty sure he was giving me the stink eye once he realized what he'd been missing...

 

 

Overall, I would consider the party a complete success. 

 

Yesterday, Grandma Terry left around 9:00 to head back to New Jersey, so I spent the rest of the day getting cleaned up from the party and catching up on my errands.  It feels good to have everything back to normal.  I'm also glad that I got to spend a little quality time with Jack yesterday.  Jeff actually took him to a sports bar for a while yesterday afternoon to watch some football while I got some cleaning done. 

 

Anyways, that's about it... I do have one new "thing"  to report that Jack currently does.  Grandma Terry looped Blue's leash around a toy chicken a few days ago.  Jack just loves it and drags it around the house, just like he's walking the dog.  I'm sure he saw us doing this on more than a few occasions and is trying to mimic us.  So, he'll "walk his chicken" and occasionally try to give the chicken water from his sippy cup...It just makes me laugh. 

 

And now we're gearing up for Christmas.  We're not going anywhere this year, other than to my parents, so I'm expecting a quiet holiday.  Still, there's shopping to be completed and cooking to be done, and parties to attend, so we'll still be on the move!

To Jack...

To my sweet boy:

 

Today, you turn a year old.  I cannot believe a year has gone by.  There were moments when I thought the days would never end, but somehow the world still turned on its axis way too fast. 

 

I want you to know that I have loved you every second of every minute since the moment I first laid eyes on you.  I don't think that there are any words to describe the kind of love that a mother has for her child.  And I don't think that any mother could describe for me the way that I love you.  Simply put, I love you absolutely and completely.  There is nothing I would not do for you, and I vowed a year ago today that I would give my life to keep you safe.  Now that a year has passed, my resolve has only gotten stronger.  Still, I want you to learn to fall down and pick yourself back up.  I want you to learn that its okay to make mistakes.  And I want you to trust that I will always be there to pick you back up. 

 

You have brought so much joy into my life.  The minute that the doctor laid you in my arms, the world I knew simply slipped away and you became the anchor tying me down.  I never imagined I could love anything as much as I love you.  There is nothing that a smile from you can't cure.  The highlight of my day is walking into your bedroom each morning or picking you up from school in the afternoon.  You have a special smile that I'd like to think is reserved just for me.  When you wrap your arms around my neck, there is nothing else in the world that matters. 

 

I love watching the world through your eyes.  There are new things that you discover each and every day.  You are so curious - constantly exploring and discovering how things work.  Things that never held any interest for me are suddenly new and exciting.  I hope you never lose the sense of wonder you have about this world.  I hope you always remain curious.   

 

I think a lot about the person you will grow up and become one day.  Whatever path you choose, it's going to be alright with me.  But, I want you to be kind to others you meet.  I want you to live your life with passion.  I want you to work hard at whatever vocation you choose.  But most of all, I want you to still need your mommy's hugs and kisses.  Because she'll always need yours.   

 

Happy birthday to the most perfect soul on this planet.  I loved you then, I love you now, and I will love you always...

 

Love,

 

Mom

 

 

Turkey Day...

I've been noticeably absent the past few weeks, I know. 

 

But, we've been busy.  Tomorrow, my amazing little man will turn a year old.  In some ways, his birth seems like a lifetime ago, but I still can't believe how quickly this past year has gone.  I can't remember my life without Jack.  I had coffee with a girlfriend a few weekends ago, and I commented that I don't remember what I did with my spare time before I had Jack.  I'm sure I did something, but I could not tell you what it was that I did.

 

Anyways, life at home is busy, crazy, and incredibly satisfying.  There is nothing I love more than picking Jack up from school, bringing him home, and playing with him.  Blue loves it too.  He's been with us just a little less than a month, and that little dog has worked his way into our family quite nicely.  I think it really helps that he and Jack get along so well together.  I'm still hit with incredible pangs of guilt though, thinking about my Maverick.  I still miss him and I'm sure I always will.  But, the other night, Jack walked over to Blue and took a bone right out of his mouth.  For a moment, I just froze, thinking Blue was about to attack.  But, it didn't happen and Blue just looked at Jack like he couldn't have cared less.  And then I breathed a huge sigh of relief. 

 

For Thanksgiving this year, we celebrated early with my family.  On Monday, we all got on an airplane and flew to Las Vegas (or Lost Wages, if you're talking to Grandpa Bob) to visit with Jeff's grandparents.  Unfortunately, I got sick about fifteen minutes into our flight and was down for the count for the next twenty-four hours.  So, while Jeff and I had planned on having some fun in Vegas, I was confined to our hotel room.  Jack had a good time though...

 

 

I will just say this - Las Vegas is not a place for kids.  When we got off the plane, I went to the bathroom to change Jack's diaper - but there was no changing station.  When we got to the hotel, I rolled the stroller over to a chair in front of a slot machine to sit down (seeing as how I was going to pass out) and I was kicked out fifteen seconds later for having a kid in the casino.  There's also cigarette smoke everywhere, and Jeff and I were hurrying through the casinos as quickly as possible to minimize Jack's exposure to the second hand smoke.   

 

Jack did pretty well on the flight.  But, his sleeping schedule got royally messed up.  So, we were up at 2:30 in the morning with Jack.  He was raring to go, but his parents definitely needed more sleep.  So, finally, at about 4:30 in the morning, Jeff and I brought Jack into bed with us and he eventually went back to sleep.

 

When we got up on Tuesday morning, we hit the road early and headed with Grandma and Grandpa back to Arizona.  Jeff and I took Jack to the park for a bit that afternoon and then we got to have some homemade manicottis and meatballs for dinner.  Jack loved his great-grandma's meatballs.  We went to bed pretty early, since I was still feeling under the weather and we'd been up for a good portion of the previous night with Jack.  Unfortunately, I woke up with Jeff grabbing my arm at about midnight, which was followed by his sprint to the bathroom thirty seconds later.  So yes, Jeff caught the flu too. 

 

And he was down for the count on Wednesday. 

 

Still, on Wednesday, Grandpa Bob, Jack and I headed up to Oatman, a "cowboy" town in the Arizona mountains.  We drove along Route 66 for about an hour and the drive was simply stunning.

 

Oatman is an old mining town where donkeys roam free.  Grandpa, Jack and I had lunch in a bar up there, and we learned a lot about the history of the town.  Apparently, the donkeys were used in the mines and when the mines closed, the townspeople just turned the donkeys loose. 

 

 

The walls of the bar where we had lunch were covered with dollar bills.  The bar estimates that there is between $80,000.00 to $90,000.00, all in dollar bills, covering the walls.  Apparently, when the mines began paying their workers with paper money, it would get ruined in their pockets after a few hours of work.  So, the miners would head to the local bar, write their name on a dollar bill and tack it to the wall, representing their bar tab.  The bar keep would keep track of how many drinks the miners would consume at the end of their work shift and take the dollar down to pay the tab. 

 

 

Also, since the donkeys just hang out around the town, Grandpa Bob bought some carrots for us to feed the donkeys.  But, once the animals know you've got carrots, you've got a feeding frenzy on your hands!  Grandpa was so proud to push Jack in his stroller up and down the streets, but started to run interference for me when the donkeys started chasing after me for more carrots.  Grandpa also got bit on the butt by one particularly fresh donkey...

 

On Thursday, Grandma and I spent the majority of the morning cooking and getting things ready for Thanksgiving.  Jeff and I did take Jack to the park again, mostly so he could work up an appetite.  We had a really nice meal and afterwards, Jack and I went for a walk and watched the sunset in the desert...

 

The picture doesn't really do the scenery justice. 

Anyways, on Friday, it was time to head home.  We stopped off at the Hoover Dam for a bit, however I was getting scared of the height and Grandpa and Grandma were having a tough time walking around, so we didn't spend too much time there...only enough for a few picture opportunities...

When we got back to Minnesota, it had snowed, and boy, was it cold!  But, I was happy to be back, and even happier to get Jack back to his normal routine.  The kid just doesn't do well if you try and mess with his schedule.

 

The rest of the weekend was spent unpacking, getting ready for the week, putting up our Christmas decorations, and getting ready for Jack's birthday party this weekend.  I did a lot of cooking and a lot of laundry.  Both Blue and Jack love the Christmas tree - but they both REALLY love the Christmas ornaments.  Jack takes them off the tree, runs around the house with them, and then brings them back to me to put back on the tree.  Blue, on the other hand, takes them off the tree and hides them. 

 

Jeff's mom comes in from New Jersey tonight and I am so excited to see her, I can hardly stand it.  I've been talking about Grandma Terry coming to visit all week.  It's also going to be nice to have an extra set of hands around the house to help with Jack and help to get ready for the party.  We're having a lot of people over on Saturday, so it's going to be a full house.

 

Tomorrow, Grandma Terry and I are going to Jack's school for a little birthday celebration.  On Friday, we're going to go downtown to see the Christmas display at Macy's and then, hopefully, see Santa Claus.  I'm hoping Jack does well.  We've got his one-year photos on Saturday morning, and then everyone is going to start arriving for the party.  I don't think I've ever been this excited to celebrate someone's birthday - and that includes my own! 



Jack and Blue

Call them what you will...Laurel & Hardy, Abbott & Costello, Tweedle-Dee & Tweedle-Dum, Frick and Frack...Jack and Blue are a comedy team. 

 

There are days that there's almost too much cuteness for one house to handle.  At this time last week, I was having serious doubts about our decision to bring a puppy into our already busy household, but over this past weekend, those have somewhat faded away.  Now, don't get me wrong - life is still completely crazy and I barely have time to sit down before I'm chasing after one of them, but it's so much fun.  Jack and Blue are like brothers, in some weird way. 

 

They've bonded over their love of Tupperware.  Jack likes to walk over to the cupboard, take out the Tupperware and throw it and bang it on the floor.  Blue likes to chew on it.  Both are fascinated with Blue's leash and they play tug of war together on the ground.  Or, Jack will take it away from Blue and run away - or Blue will take it away from Jack and try to hide.  So, they're finding their own kind of mischief to get into every single day. 

 

There are days when they fight like brothers too.  Blue is learning that he can't wrestle as aggressively with Jack as he wants to.  The other night, after Jack had gotten ready for bed, Blue kept pulling Jack backwards along the hardwood floors by his footie pajamas.  That was pretty funny to watch.  And then Jack will beat on Blue, pet him harder than he should, and will pull on his ears, feet, and tail.  They take toys away from each other too.  But, they're learning how to get along and play with each other. 

 

Last night, as I was giving Jack his bath, Blue was next to me in the bathroom, with his paws up on the tub, watching Jack intently as he splashed and played in the tub.  Jack couldn't stop smiling and every once and a while, he'd reach out his hand to pat Blue on the head.  After his bath, I sat Jack down on the mat to dry him off and Blue wrapped himself around Jack and stayed there.  When it's time to go check on Jack before I go to bed, I ask Blue if he wants to go see the baby, and Blue runs up the stairs with me to Jack's room, puts his paws up on the side of the crib and peers in at Jack. 

 

Talk about making your heart melt, huh?

 

 

So, we had a pretty busy weekend - Jeff had been on bed rest most of the weekend to try and get his neck feeling better before we travel to Arizona next week.  On Saturday, we had some friends come over to play with Blue.  Jack seemed to have a good time while he was awake, but Blue got tired pretty quickly and needed to nap.  We ran a few errands and then managed to get outside to play with the neighborhood kids in the afternoon.  Both boys had fun playing and chasing after all the kids.  My grandparents managed to stop by to meet Blue as well. 

 

Yesterday, Blue, Jack and I went over to my sister's house for a play date.  I also was able to do a few loads of laundry at her house since our washing machine is broken.  Afterwards, we came home and Jack had a quick nap and then we went to my friend Julie's house for "Friends-Giving."  So, nothing too exciting happened, but we were busy!

 

This week and week end will be insane - we've got to get ready for our trip to Arizona and we're celebrating Thanksgiving with my family on Saturday.  Before we know it, Jack will be turning one and then Christmas will be upon us...

 

Bring it on! 

Frogs and snals and puppy dog tails...

So, I'm finally getting around to writing an update.  And be prepared - I think this will be a long post since I've got a lot of ground to cover! 

 

First off, Jack celebrated his first Halloween.  It wasn't really that exciting - I don't think he really knew what was going on.  The day started off with a costume party at school.  I had to bring his costume to his school as a change of clothes.  Then, his teachers got all the kids dressed up, took pictures of them, did arts and crafts, and danced to some music.  However, if you ask me, the thought of changing eight little kids into their Halloween costumes sounds completely exhausting to me.  It's like getting all dressed up in your winter gear only to realize you need to pee...

 

Anyways, when Jack got home from school, we had dinner and an early bath.  He then got into his costume.  I opened up the front door and lit our Jack-o-Lanterns to let all the neighborhood kids know that we were open for business!  Jack had so much fun sitting in the front entryway watching all the kids come and ring the doorbell.  Nana and Papa came up too.  Papa and I took Jack around to a few houses in the neighborhood to "get some candy" and show off Jack in his costume.  He looked so cute.  Anyways, after we were done with that and returned home, Jack started having a melt down - too much stimulation, I think...so he went to bed.  My parents stayed around with me for a bit, and we ended up shutting the lights off a little before 8:00 that evening as we had run out of candy.  I bet we had about 100 kids, although I will admit to giving my favorite ones a few extra pieces... 

 

So, over the past ten days, Jack has had a lot of fluid coming out of his ears.  He's had a bad cold for a while and stuff has been just pouring out of his nose and his ears.  Last Friday, Jack's school called to tell me that his ears had really started draining and one of his ears had started bleeding.  That kind of scared me, so I went to pick him up and I took him to the ENT doctor.  He's just fine and the good news is that his tubes are working and doing what they're supposed to do - mainly drain all that gunk out!  But they had started to irritate his ears which made one of them bleed.  So, the doctor vacuumed out his ears (seriously) and gave us some ear drops.  He's doing much better than he was a week ago, but we can't go to swimming lessons until his ears stop draining. 

Instead of hitting up the pool on Saturday, we went to the Eden Prairie Center to their indoor play area.  Seriously, that place is amazing.  There are a lot of kids there, so it's kind of nuts, but Jack had so much fun walking around, climbing and playing.  My mom met us there for a little bit.  There was this little boy at the play area who was about three years old and started pushing Jack over - intentionally.  The first time, Jack really didn't mind and kind of ignored it...to be honest, I thought it may have been this little boy's way of telling Jack to move.  But then it kept happening.  So, Nana had to intervene.  No one messes with Nana's boy.  But, by that time, Jack was ready to leave and was getting kind of sleepy. 

So, we came home and Jack took a nap.  Uncle Alec came over to spend some time with us again.  My parents came up for dinner and I made jambalaya.  Jack had a great time playing with everyone. 

So, on Sunday, we got a new dog.  I have a lot to say about this... First off, when we got home, I started feeling incredibly sad.  I felt like Maverick was just a thing we could replace.  I know he wasn't, and I know we did the right thing by putting him down.  But still, I was incredibly sad.  I will always miss Maverick.  I loved him very much - and I always will.  But he was my dog.  He never really got used to being second place.  A part of me feels like I failed him for never really teaching him that he was a dog and not my baby.  And I think that's all I will say for now. 

So, enter Blue.  We went out to a farm in Plato to look at dogs.  We were there all of twenty minutes before we decided to take him home with us.  We were sold when the breeder's three year old son started picking him up by the tail and carrying him around the farm.  The dog seemed to take it all in stride and didn't fuss or seem to mind at all.  So, we brought Blue home, cleaned him up and stocked up on puppy supplies.  We were not prepared, to say the least.  Blue is named after "Tangled Up in Blue" by Bob Dylan.  Blue's dad was called Bob Dylan and so Jeff and I picked our favorite Dylan song (after discarding Watchtower, of course).   

Blue loves Jack.  Jack likes him too, but we're dealing with the typical puppy behavior - beyond the potty training and chewing.  Blue wants to wrestle with Jack, tries to nip at his hands and feet, and tends to get his nose in Jack's face.  This is kind of a change for Jack, especially since Maverick really never gave him the time of day.  But, if Jack can control the situation, he likes petting Blue and they've been bonding over their shared love of Tupperware, tug of war, and chew toys. 

Over the past five days, Blue has shown more interest and affection towards Jack than Maverick had shown him over his entire life.  He's a purebred golden retriever...they're supposed to be great family dogs, and I'm hoping that Jack and Blue will grow up together and be the best of friends one day.

So, Jack is pretty much a professional at walking these days.  His language skills are also starting to develop.  His school teaches American Sign Language and he's been learning basic words such as "more," "all done," "please," "thank you," "mom," and "dad."  But, one of the funniest things that I think he picked up from me is telling people no... 

If you listen carefully, he also has started saying, "all done" even if it sounds like "ah duh."  I can tell what he's saying.  He's also learned to ask for "more" if he's still hungry at meal times.  This is helpful for me although it does surprise me how much he eats.   

Anyways, it's Friday night and Jack is in bed.  Our nights are absolutely crazy these days - while we have a neighbor boy letting Blue out during the day, when we get home, both Jack and Blue want to play.  And they play hard - running all over the house, climbing on things, throwing Tupperware and toys, and pulling things out of cupboards and off shelves.  It's like I have two babies at this point - except I can only crate one and only put diapers on one.  I may wish I could put diapers on Blue and I may wish to put Jack in a "crate" for a minute so I could pee without feeling like I'm competing in some kind of sprinting sport.  It sort of feels like I'm running in two directions...I'm trying to make sure Jack doesn't do something he shouldn't and then I'm running after Blue so he doesn't pee in the house.  Before I know it, I'm passed out in front of the television and The X Factor isn't even over yet. 

We've got some friends coming over tomorrow to meet Blue and I'm going to start getting things ready for our trip to Arizona for Thanksgiving.  On Sunday, we're going to my sister's house for a play date for Jack and Blue.  Plus, I'm going to do some laundry since our washing machine broke this week and the part we need won't be in for a while.  Then, Jack and I are going to my Bennie Thanksgiving.  Jeff hurt his neck last week and has been put on bed rest for the weekend, so I'm manning the ship solo.  And now, I can feel my eyes getting heavy, so until Monday (hopefully)...   

Eleven Months...

Well, this weekend was pretty hard. 

 

Jeff and I have been wrestling with ourselves all weekend, trying to think of something else we could have done to have spared Maverick.  But, it doesn't really help to consider the "what ifs" since it won't change anything.  We will just have to learn from this experience and take comfort in the fact that we did what was best for our family.  It's still hard though - and I can't believe how quiet it is around our house...even with a screaming child...last night, I was giving Jack a bath and I jumped about two feet in the air when Jeff walked into the bathroom.  I hadn't heard him come home.   

 

We will miss Maverick.  And let's just leave it at that. 

 

So, Jack turned eleven months yesterday.  He has changed so much in the past month.  Walking is now the preferred method of transportation - and running is preferable to that.  He can't run unassisted, but instead takes his walker and zooms all over the house.  My parents started calling him "Franken-Baby" since he walks like a drunken sailor with his arms outstretched over his head.  He walks just like Frankenstein. 

 

And believe it or not, he's starting to talk.  His "mama" and "dada" have been pretty clear for a while now, but this past week, he started saying "all done" and my mom texted me yesterday and told me that he just said "papa" as well.  Granted, these aren't clear words or phrases, but he's using them in the right context and he's got enough consonants in there so you know what he's trying to tell you.  Last night, when I was getting Jack into his pajamas, Jeff was playing with him and Jack kept saying, "dada" over and over again.  It was pretty cute. 

So, after the drama concluded on Saturday, Jack and I went to a Halloween party, thrown by one of our friends.  I wanted to get out of the house and take my mind off things, so spending time with my friends and their children seemed to be just the ticket.  Jack was actually a little shy when we first got there.  It took a while for him to warm up to everyone, but once he did, he was a maniac.  He was walking and crawling all over everyone, playing with toys, and he even got to play a few games.  I think he had a pretty great time. 

Afterwards, we came home and Uncle Alec came to spend the night with us.  I was so grateful that he was there.  I think Jeff and I would have gone nuts alone in our house without Maverick.  Uncle Alec was very sweet and understanding and totally didn't mind that I was walking around the house like a zombie. 

So, we all went to brunch the next morning at the club.  Uncle Alec and I were busy talking about Spain and then, I looked over and saw Jack and Jeff playing...

    
So Jack has learned how to play peek-a-boo, he can wave "hello" and "bye-bye" and can also give a high five.  He's also very good at clapping for himself!  So, when we got home, Jeff put Jack down for his nap and I went up to Target to do a little shopping.  When I got home, we went to meet Baby Juliet and visit her parents in the hospital.  We had such a good time, and Jack was so well-behaved.  Probably because he'd just laid eyes on his future wife for the first time. 

When Jeff and I got home, we couldn't sit still and kept wandering around the house...we missed Maverick.  Finally, Jeff just said that we needed to get out of our home for a bit, so we went over to Nana and Papa's for some play time.  It really helped snap us out of our funk. 

So, tomorrow is Halloween.  I think I'll just take Jack to a few houses around the neighborhood and let him help hand out candy.  He will probably enjoy that.  We're sending love this week to all our friends and family out on the east coast - praying that your power gets turned on soon and that you can get everything cleaned up soon... 

Maverick

Being a mom sometimes means that you have to make tough decisions.  I mean, really tough decisions. 

 

Our dog, Maverick, was my first baby...and I treated him like one.  I got him just a few months after I passed the bar and moved into my own place.  For the first few years, he went everywhere with me.  He was my buddy.  We would spend hours at the dog park together, go on long walks, and as long as the weather was tolerable, he went where I went.  As he got older though, he became increasingly protective of me...he got into fights with other dogs and started showing aggressive behavior - especially when it came to food.  So, we still went on long walks, but he spent more time at home. 

 

I never thought that Maverick would turn into "just a dog" when Jack was born... it almost embarrasses me to admit that I had problems imaging that I'd ever love something as much as Mav.  But then, Jack was born...and the minute the doctor put him in my arms, I literally felt my heart grow three sizes. 

 

Maverick never got used to being second place.  Over the past few months, he'd start to growl if Jack came near or tried to pet him when he was napping.  And it was worse when food was involved.  Basically, I knew I could never turn my back on either Maverick or Jack if one of them was eating. 

 

Something was bound to happen. 

 

Yesterday morning, we had just finished breakfast and took I Jack out of his high chair while I went to wash his tray off in the kitchen.  Jeff was in the living room with Jack and Maverick.  Maverick went to finish off the Cheerios that were left on the high chair.  Jack tottered over to Maverick and tried to pet him.  And before Jeff or I could move, Maverick had bitten Jack several times and kept trying for more.  It was over in less than a second - Jeff and I were literally feet from where this happened.  Jeff grabbed Maverick by the collar and I picked up Jack and whisked him away to comfort him and inspect the damage.   

 

From what I could tell, Maverick bit Jack about three times.  Once under his left eye, on the right side of his face and on his right ear.  We were lucky.  It doesn't look like the bite marks will scar, Jack didn't lose an eye, and his ear didn't get ripped off.  We were lucky it wasn't someone else's kid. 

 

We knew that we couldn't keep him with us any longer.  We might not be so lucky the next time.  So, Jeff and I made the decision to put Maverick down.  I tried to find a shelter to take him, but they don't take dogs that have bitten children.  So, the very nice veterinarian at the University of Minnesota let me say good-bye to my buddy and took him out of our lives. 

 

To say that we are heartbroken would be an understatement.  There is a Maverick-sized hole in both our hearts.  The house is so quiet - it's almost unsettling.  It was weird waking up this morning without him sleeping between us... it was weird not having the urgency to get up and feed him.  I miss him sitting next to me on the couch as I type this, and I keep thinking that it's almost time to feed him or let him out. 

 

Maverick wasn't a good dog - he had terrible habits, mostly surrounding food.  But he loved us.  And we loved him.  He was always happy to see us when we got home.  He was really good at helping me keep my floors clean.  I miss my buddy.  I don't need anyone telling me that we did the right thing - because I know that we did.  But that doesn't make things any easier. 

 

I just want to remember the good things about him - how he'd sing, the way he liked being tucked into bed in the mornings, and how he never left my side when I was sad or upset.  Like I said, he may not have been a good dog, but we loved him anyways...

 

 

Birthdays on the Brain...

Jack attended his first birthday party this weekend. 

 

No, it wasn't his, obviously, but our next door neighbor turned four on Saturday, and Jack was lucky enough to score an invitation to the party.  It was a Princess-themed party, so while Jack didn't get all dressed up, he did manage to get in on some of the festivities. 

 

First off, I'd just like to say that kids are tiny, weird humans.  I say this in full awareness of the fact that I will, one day, have a tiny, weird human on my hands as well.  They're loud, yet sensitive, and every emotion or incident seems to be magnified ten-fold.  Our neighbors had rented a giant blow-up Princess castle for the party, and while this seemed to be, at least initially, to be an amazing way to wear children out, it doesn't come without its fair share of drama.  Girls were getting their Princess costumes torn, others were getting kicked in the face, slammed into the side of the bouncy castle... like I said, D-R-A-M-A.  Fortunately, Jack did NOT go in the bouncy castle, so I was spared the tears that every other kid shed on Saturday.  Seriously.  I think every kid at that party cried at least once.

 

We moved indoors then for some cupcakes and presents.  The kids fought about what they each got in their goodie bags.  Then, when it came time for the birthday girl to open her presents, she started crying because all the kids were literally on top of her, trying to get in on all the action. 

 

Jack and I were off in the corner of the living room while all of this was going on.  Like I said, this was a Princess-themed party and all the girls were given plastic tiaras.  An older boy at the party came over and put one on Jack's head.  Jack was too busy playing, so he just reached up and whacked it off his head.  Well, this boy didn't appreciate that, and wanted the other kids to laugh at Jack, so he picked it up again and shoved it on his head.  Hard.  At that point, I intervened as Jack had started crying.  I asked this boy to stop putting the crown on Jack, as I reached over to pick up my crying son, since he obviously didn't like it.  The kid looked at me, and said, "You can't tell me what to do.  You're not my mom."  

 

I am not ready.

 

I am not ready for Jack to grow up into this little boy.  I am not ready to deal with other kids picking on my son.  I am not ready for Jack to befriend kids like this.  I am just not ready. 

 

Maybe by the time Jack morphs into a tiny, weird human I'll have become immune to it all.  But I'm secretly hoping that he will always stay my sweet boy, who loves to give hugs and kisses, and always wants his mommy when he gets upset.  Dare to dream, I say.

 

I've also become increasingly weepy as Jack's first birthday approaches.  There's a part of me that eagerly anticipates his next "stages" where he won't rely on me for everything - when he can communicate and tell me what he wants instead of having to play Mommy Detective with every whimper and wail.  When he can actually get himself from point A to point B without bumping his head or having me carry him.  Actually, my back is eagerly anticipating that stage.  But, for the most part, I'm weepy about the fact that my little man is growing up.  He'll never be that tiny baby again.  I think I may have said this last week when I was cleaning out his closet.  I get teary just boxing up his clothes - imagine what I'll be like when he goes off to college!

 

In any case, Jack's day care called twice last week - on Thursday, he was really unhappy.  He was crying a lot, and appeared really uncomfortable.  So, I went to pick him up and take him to the doctor.  He's teething and has a chest cold.  I knew that.  But, on Friday, they called again since he'd fallen and cut his eye on a table.  He'd been trying to walk and fell over.  So, I went to get him again.  His eye was watering when we got home, so I took him back to the doctor.  Turns out, he scratched his actual eye ball.  They tried to put an eye patch on so he wouldn't  rub his eye, but Jack basically started flailing around in the doctor's office - so much to the point that it looked like he was seizing.  So, they sent us home with some eye drops.  I thought he'd have a terrible black eye, but it looks like it's healing pretty well.  And of course, there will be no permanent damage.  I actually brought the incident report from day care in with me to the doctor - I am terrified that they'll take one look at my kid and report me to Child Protective Services.  He's got bruises all over his head in various colors from all the knocks and bumps he's taken with learning to walk.     

 

I actually tried finding a baby Pirate costume or a baby Boxer costume for him to wear on Halloween.  I couldn't really come up with anything, so I got him a Sock Monkey costume.  They had like three options to choose from at Party City, and this one was the least annoying.  Plus, it's big enough that he can wear some heavier clothes underneath - not that we're planning on doing a marathon Trick-or-Treat session, but you never know with Minnesota.  I remember my dad carrying my sister and I through a raging snow storm one year.  It's been known to happen. 

 

Anyways, yesterday was a pretty low-key day.  We went over to my parents' for a bit, and Jack got to watch some football with Papa Puff. 

 

When we came home, Jack went down for a quick nap while I made some chili.  Then, since it was such a nice day, we headed up to the park. 

We didn't stay too long, but we did some swinging and sliding and explored all around the park, looking at various wood chips. 

If you really want to compare how much he's grown, go back to my St. Patrick's Day post when he first went on a swing ride...and now here come the weepys again...

          

Turning Thirty-Two...

What a difference a year makes, huh?

 

Last year, I was insanely pregnant and it was about eighty degrees on my birthday...we celebrated by going to an apple orchard with a bunch of our friends. 

This year's birthday celebration was entirely different from last year.  Big surprise, right?  Jeff was out of town for work and I, of course, had to work so it wasn't any different than any other day.  One of my dear friends came over for dinner, however, so that made it a little special, I guess...And, I got a lot of messages, texts and calls from people I haven't talked to in a long time, so that was really nice.  And, I also came home to a beautiful bouquet of red roses.  I was on the phone with Grandma Carol when I got home and she wanted to know who my boyfriend was...and of course, it was Jeff!

 

Jack hasn't mastered the art of language just yet, so he had no idea it was his mom's birthday, but he had a good time playing with his Aunt Lindsey after he finished his dinner.. Then, after he went to bed, and Lindsey and I dug into the cupcakes she brought over for dessert.  She also gave me a beautiful necklace with the letter "J" as a pendant.  I have been asking for "mom" jewelry for a while and the necklace is something I will treasure always. 

 

So, the rest of the week was pretty boring.  Jack keeps showing off his walking skills and he's getting more confident with every step he takes.  We spend some serious time every day practicing our walking skills.  He's gotten really good at holding my hand and walking all over the house.  Jeff commented yesterday that he's started walking with a purpose - meaning if he wants to go and pick up Elmo, he walks over to where Elmo is currently resting. 

 

Our weekend shaped up to be pretty nice.  Jack had a flu shot on Thursday morning, and I actually think he got sick from it.  He blew out his diaper three times on Friday, had a really poor appetite, and was pretty cranky.  His friend, Anna, came over on Friday night so I could help her with her homework (she's in third grade) and then she helped me with Jack.  She's learning how to baby-sit, so she loves coming over and "practicing" with Jack.  I love it because she wants to do everything and Jack just adores her! 

 

On Saturday, Jack slept until about 8:30 in the morning, which is absolutely unheard of.  I figured he wouldn't go down for a morning nap, but he was asking for one about an hour later - yet another sign that he was under the weather...so I put him down and he ended up sleeping for about two and a half hours.  In light of this, I decided to skip his swim lesson because I didn't want him blowing out a diaper in the pool and I didn't think it was the best parenting decision to get him soaking wet and carry him around outside.  So, we skipped the swim lesson and instead went to look at furniture.

 

Afterwards, we got some pumpkins and came home to carve them!  This was one of my most favorite things to do as a kid and it's really fun to keep the tradition going with Jack.  I remember that we'd scoop out all the gunk from the pumpkins and my mom would roast the pumpkin seeds and my parents would help my sister and me carve our pumpkins...Jack is obviously too little to really understand what's going on just yet, but I hope we can keep the tradition going.  So, this is what our house looks like now that it's all decorated for Halloween:

 

So, on Sunday, Jack and I met a friend at the Eden Prairie Center for a play-date.  The mall has this indoor play area that I'd heard good things about, but apparently, so had a lot of other people...

 

Kids were supposed to be under four feet tall to play in the area, but no one paid attention to that rule.  It was like a war zone, with kids flying all over the place, jumping off the play equipment...I was so afraid Jack was going to get kicked in the head, stepped on, or pushed over that we didn't stay too long and left the play area in search of Elmo birthday invitations.  We did a little shopping, had some lunch, and then Jack needed a nap, so we went home. 

 

Jeff and Jack were supposed to meet Uncle Alec at Buffalo Wild Wings to watch some football, but that didn't really work out, so we went up to the park for a little swinging and sliding.  Jack can go down the baby slides by himself now.  He gets so excited.  I'll set him down at the top of the slide and I have to race to the bottom because he scoots his little butt forward so fast that I have to move quickly if I want to catch him!  I actually tried to get it on video, but he moved too fast to get the camera working...but I did get some cute pictures of him all bundled up...

 

 

Afterwards, we went home and warmed up and spent some time practicing our walking and trying to master our stairs.  I also cleaned out Jack's closet to make room for all his new clothes...this makes me sad every single time I do this, which is fairly regularly...my little boy will never again be that small, he'll never again wear these adorable outfits...he'll keep growing at an alarmingly fast pace... Even though I'm excited about all these new changes and skills he's developing, I want to tell him to slow down because I want to remember him just as he is, every single day...  That's one of the reasons I'm so grateful that I've kept up with this blog and that I force myself to write every week because at least I've got a written record and pictures that I can look back on when I'm feeling particularly nostalgic. 

 

It's hard to believe that he'll be a year old in just six weeks.  I've started making plans for his birthday parties.  Yes, the blessed event will be celebrated more than once!  We'll be in Arizona visiting Jeff's grandparents over Thanksgiving, and I'd like to get a lot of things squared away before we go.  Grandma Terry is coming to visit the week after that and staying for his parties, so there won't be much time to plan and prepare.  I've decided on a Sesame Street themed party, since Elmo is the be-all-to-end-all for Jack.  This morning, as I was getting ready for work, the song for "Elmo's World" started playing, as I was streaming an episode of Sesame Street.  Jack heard it, literally stopped in the middle of what he was doing, turned his Beep Beep around and went straight for the television.  And then started laughing hysterically.  He just loves Elmo.  I couldn't find any invitations at Target yesterday, so I'm going to try and hit up Party City after work one night this week...

 

Anyways, Jack's latest trick is clapping.  He's been doing this for quite a while, but if you say, "Yeah, Jack!" he'll stop in the middle of whatever he's doing, sit down and start clapping.  It's hysterical...

 

 

I'm also amazed at how much he absorbs through observation...the other day, I was getting ready and he was sitting in our bathroom, playing with my hairbrush.  He picked it up, crawled over to the vanity and opened it up, placed the hairbrush away and closed the vanity door.  He actually put it away - on the shelf where it goes no less - and then "cleaned" up after himself.  This may have been dumb luck, but I think he's seen me do it enough that he knows what I usually do with the brush and was replicating it.  Also, we're the "Family of the Month" at day care and every day after school, I pick him up and we go through all the pictures on the wall...I'll ask him "Where's Daddy?" and he'll point to a picture of Jeff.  If I ask him to find Mommy, he'll point to a picture of me.  He'll also do this if asked about Maverick, Nana and Papa...so he's getting the concept of language and learning how to follow directions.  Like I said, I need to write all of this stuff down now so I remember how excited I was by it in a few months when I can't get him to stop talking...

 

Finally, we had his school pictures this morning...I was happy that Jack didn't have any noticeable or showing bruises on his head.  When I left for yoga last night, Jeff was under strict instructions to watch Jack like a hawk so he wouldn't get a new bruise just before his pictures.  So, I took him to school today (before Grammy Camp) and he was not happy about having his picture taken.  I'm just hoping that the photographer got some good ones in between his bouts of screaming...